This one has been circulating on FB

1. Jose sells an avocado to John for $5.
2. Donald imposes a 20% border tax, so that “Mexico pays for the Wall.”
3. Now Jose sells the avocado to John for $5+20%=$6.00
4. The US collects its $1.00 from Jose.
5. Jose still made $5.00
6. Who paid for the wall?

Dabbling with out of the box thinking worthy of Mort Sahl meets Lord Buckley, lets have a go at the above.

Certainly, this avocado adventure is as good as it goes.

But hold up - here is a scenario that answers Number 6: The Presidential Avocado Decree

Works this way:

1. John deposits the avocado pit with the FDA who assign an APDI (Avocado Pit Density Index) rating to determine the legally decreed fees for shipping, handling, and safe disposal of said pit.

2. Take the accumulation of all the fees from Mexican avocados in one lump sum and send the bill to the Mexican Government.

3. The remedy for non-payment will result in the seizures of all with future avocados sent by Mexico to the US and, eventually, the end of Mexican Avocados entering the  American Market.

A fantastic Presidential Decree that will bring back the American Avocado industry.

Grate America, Again

What Eats (or eats at) The King’s Table

The old adage from my Berkeley Hippie Daze was you are what you eat...

Today - in our present state of Political anxiety-mixed with enthusiasm - you might want to update the “you are what you eat” with “you are what you serve.”

Donald J Trump - besides being a former Broadway Producer - is also a Restaurateur.

One can dip into his world of flavours and favours by booking a table at his Trump Grill,  located at Trump Tower (725 5th Ave, New York City).

Anyone with a mouth and a tongue can shake a fist at a restaurant and write a seething review... God knows I wanted to write one about a Berlin Restaurant, remaining nameless,  pretending to be a Mexican Restaurant whose Mexican Menu hardly extended past a saggy, cold Enchilada and who served this delicacy with a napkin torn in half (the other half went to my dining partner who when asked for ketchup for her fries was served a thimble full of ketchup costing 50 cents).

So - for sure - Restaurant Critics can easily dish it out over dishes.

Which brings me to the most acidic review of a restaurant that I have read in years, Tina Nguyen’s published review of Trump Grill.

Here are excerpts to confront your palette:

“Our table nevertheless ordered the Ivanka’s Salad, a chopped approximation of a Greek salad, smothered in melting goat cheese and dressing and missing the promised olives, that seemed unlikely to appetize a SoulCycle-obsessed, smoothie-guzzling heiress. (Instead, it looked like a salad made by someone who believes that rich women only eat vegetables.) But the cuboid plant matter ended up being the perfect place to hide several uneaten Szechuan dumplings.”

“Renowned butcher Pat LaFrieda once dared me to eat an eyeball that he himself popped out of the skull of a roasted pig. That eyeball tasted better than the Trump Grill’s (Grille’s) Gold Label Burger, a Pat LaFrieda–branded short-rib burger blend molded into a sad little meat thing, sitting in the center of a massive, rapidly staling brioche bun, hiding its shame under a slice of melted orange cheese. It came with overcooked woody batons called “fries”—how can someone mess up fries?—and ketchup masquerading as Heinz. If the cheeseburger is a quintessential part of America’s identity, Trump’s pledge to “make America great again” suddenly appeared not very promising. (Presumably, Trump’s Great America tastes like an M.S.G.-flavored kitchen sponge lodged between two other sponges.)”

The full review can be found at this link:

http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/12/trump-grill-review

Next time in NY, possibly, you can reserve a table when calling this number:
(001) 212 836 3249